I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
