also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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