i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
