chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
