id be glad to
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
