i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
