Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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