a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
