the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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