dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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