Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
