mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
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