Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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