1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
