Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
