meet me or not, i'm out of control
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
