I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
