David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
