i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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