There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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