Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
the room spins SO much faster in panama
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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