That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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