But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
