they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
