I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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