When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
