You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
