i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
