it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
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