Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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