it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
