Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
