This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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