dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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