i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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