Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
