let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
