Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
