I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
