let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
