FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
