I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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