so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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