I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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