I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Randomize
