K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
