Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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