i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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