9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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