i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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