He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
