I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
